As Sue Cs it

Because Glee has ended its first season, I shall re-quote my favourite Sue Sylvester lines:-

On her life philosophy

• "You know, for me, trophies are like herpes. You can try to get rid of them but they just keep coming. Sue Sylvester has hourly flare-ups of burning, itchy, highly contagious talent."
• "I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once, and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling."
• "Me, I never wanted kids — don't have the time, don't have the uterus."

On her nemesis - Will Schuester

• "Your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist, animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing about living on the bayou."
• "I just lost my train of thought because you have so much margarine in your hair."
• "I thought I smelled cookies wafting from the ovens of the little elves that live in your hair."
• "You have enough product in your hair to season a wok."
• "I don’t trust a man with curly hair. I can’t help picturing small birds laying sulfurous eggs in there, and I find it disgusting."
• "God, it feels good to finally pop that zit known as Will Schuester."

To her award-winning cheerleading team

• "Nobody quits the Cheerios. You either die or I kick you off."
• "You think this hard. I'm passing a gallstone as we speak. That is hard!"
• "I’m going to ask you to smell your armpits. That’s the smell of failure, and it’s stinking up my office."
• "I’m all about empowerment. I empower my Cheerios to live in a state of constant fear by creating an environment of irrational, random terror."

Jane Lynch is awesome!