Ticking

I have this slight obsession with time.

I hate being late, and would rather be early and wait. But once it's 2 minutes past, I start to fidget and grumble because I've been kept waiting.

I like to do countdowns. And of course, my daisypath announces my most important countdown at the moment - to Bangkok. And while we're at countdowns, it's less than 3 months to the new year. Time really flies. And I don't know at all what I've accomplished.

Which brings me to why my particular-ness with time is not a good thing. If I didn't think so much about time, I wouldn't be sitting here wondering what have I done the entire year. Actually, just so you feel bad along with me, what have you accomplished so far in 2005?

-------------------------

If I could start all over again ...

I would finish my valuer's log book as soon as possible ...
(well, I've passed my first year, another year to go)

I would put in more effort into my Masters ...
(crossing my fingers that I passed my last semester's papers and I promise to come up with a good thesis)

I would learn to control my temper more and lose it a lot less ...
(actually, I've learnt that sometimes you've gotta show that temper, because oddly enough, some people actually only give you that respect you deserve when you raise your voice)

I would remember to be grateful and complain less ...
(to always be gratified - yes, something I'm still learning)

I would remind myself that I'm worth so much more, that I don't need to take crap from others, that I deserve ...
(I've gotta stick this quote up in my room la, because I admit I'm a pushover - and I'm even starting to irritate me)

I would learn to be happy with the things I have within, and learn to live without ...
(now this, is deep - and I can't remember what are the things I have "within" - must think about this)

I would, if I could ... and I can - so I will :)
(what a positive way to end this)

-------------------------

But, I'm running off course. I didn't make any real goals this year to fulfill. But I'm grateful (see, I'm learning) that I've managed to find the discipline to complete my log book's 1st year. And really really grateful that I haven't yet lost sight of my goal to complete my thesis.

I'll still have this very slight obsession with time (I've got at least 3 calendars on my workdesk, excluding the one in the computer), but I'm glad :)

p/s I'm not complaining about my job today because my boss has bought me a new black Dell computer to replace my old crummy computer! My workdesk never looked this good ;)