Living your life

QUESTION : "Are you living your dream? Or just living your life?"

N : How come life so sian wan?
Me : Yah lor. Work's so boring. We're both not doing what we want to do. And then, it's not to say we're stupid people. We're quite clever people mah. How come we're stuck here ah?
N : Exactly. Life so sian. Wanna change job, but scared la ...
Me : But if you wanna change jobs, find what you like, jump fields, you gotta do it now right? (Look who's talking). I mean, after all, later got kids la and everything, then it'll be really hard for you to do what you want, cos by that time job security is important cos u got family to feed.
N : Yah lor hor. Aiyah.

~ an extract (paraphrased) of a phone conversation with a close girl friend earlier this evening

But it's all just talk, isn't it? One never gets off their butt to do something about their life. Well, I mean me la, actually.

If someone were to ask exactly what I'd like to do right now, I'd be able to answer without hesitation. Really.

But,
because of job security,
because I'm working towards having something to fall back on in the future,
because of this fear of the future,
because of not wanting to disappoint those who provided me with my education,
because I'm not strong or rebellious enough to want what I want,
I am here.

Sad case la.

But, if you look at it from the other perspective, I'd be a wimp to give up now. I'm already halfway towards getting my valuer's license. Halfway. Hmm. The light ain't there yet :P

ANSWER : Definitely, just living my life. Without a doubt.

(Something inside me screams - but I'm only 25! Why do I sound 75?? This discussion shall be continued.)